Burn From Within
Burn From Within
From NHS Psychology to Travel Blogger And Hypnotherapist - Alice Nettleingham
On this week’s episode, I have Alice Nettleingham, who has gone through a number of career changes and each time has really enjoyed every career she has been in.
Like me, she loves variety and adventure and we met each other in Bansko, Bulgaria.
After graduating in psychology, Alice worked as a psychological well-being practitioner for the NHS. Fast forward a few years and she had spent 5 years as an English teacher in Asia and forward some more and Alice is running a hugely popular female solo travel blogging business and now has become a certified hypnotherapist helping other content creators get rid of unconscious patterns of self doubt and procrastination that stops them being successful in their business.
In this episode, we discuss:
- How Alice made the decision to change her career each time
- Her approach to transition - jumping in with both feet and how this can really be effective for some people
- How stories from others can change our beliefs and give us instant inspiration to change careers
- How we can reprogram our minds by changing our self-narratives through hypnosis
- How does hypnosis work exactly and how can it improve your clarity and productivity
- What’s the one thing that’s made Alice burn from within?
Resources:
Teacake Travels - Alice's awesome and highly popular solo female travel blog!
Connect with Alice on IG here - feel free to ask her any questions in DM - @speaktoalice
Book a taster hypnosis session here - trust me, you have to experience this!
On this week's episode, I have Alice nettling and. Who has gone through a number of career changes and each time has really enjoyed every career that she's been in. After graduating in psychology, Alice worked as a psychological wellbeing practitioner for the NHS. Fast forward a few years. And she had spent five years as an English teacher in Asia. And forward some more analysis, running a Shuki popular. Female solo travel booking business, and now become a certified hypnotherapist, helping other content creators, get rid of unconscious patterns of self doubt. And procrastination that stops them from being successful in their business. In this episode, we discuss. How Alice made the decision to change her career each time. Her approach to transition. Jumping in with both feet. And how this can really be effective for some people. How stories from others can change our beliefs and give us instant inspiration to change careers. How we can reprogram our minds by changing our self narratives. Through hypnosis. How hypnosis works exactly. How can it improve your clarity and productivity? And what's the one thing that's made Alice Byrne from within. The full show notes and videos of other interviews are available@burnfromwithin.com. Forward slash interviews. So listen all the way through. And enjoy What made you, decide, Hey I'm going to go from being a. Psychological well-being practitioner, to starting your own travel, blogging business and traveling around the world on your own as a as a woman. Like that step before we even talk about hypnosis, cause that's a pretty brave decision. I would have to say. Yeah.
Alice Nettleingham:And yeah, when I did make that change, I think everybody thought I was off my rocker, but there, there definitely are steps to explain how I got there. So just actually to go back one step before that, actually, when I was in school, I was obsessed with art. I loved art. I did it all the time. I drew every day. And when it came to the crunch of me going to university I said to my dad, I got to go to art school. That's it. I'm going to ask. And he said, Nope, you're not doing that. You're not going to make any money from that whatsoever. And it broke my heart, my God, it broke my heart, but I did it, I went to university and I did psychology. So be it. But this was a running theme, throughout my childhood though, I always did what was expected of me. And it got to the point, I think when I was really into my psychology career and things were going very well, I was like, okay, I've done everything. My parents had told me today, I'm working hard. I've you know, I've, I didn't let, I'd never put my foot on the brake. I just worked, and it got to the point in my mind, I thought The half there just has to be more because I've done everything that I've been told and I'm still not happy. And wherever you believe in the universe or not. I really believe what did happen to me was an intervention from the universe because I was on a train was going from the North to the South of England. So it was quite a long train journey. It was a very busy train at that time. And there was one seat. Available next to me and this girl sat down next to me and she was reading a psychology paper and I love people. I love people. This is like pretty much the theme for our, all of my jobs. So I got chatting to her. I was like, Oh, Hey, what are you reading? What are you studying? And she said, Oh, I did a master's in psychology. But I just got back from India, teaching English and my ears pricked up, I was like, what? I was like, Oh my God, this woman she's like fascinating, say we spoke for the whole train journey and I just listened to her and I asked her so many different questions. And by the time I got off that train, I said to myself, that's it. I quit my job. I quit my life. I'm going to change right now. And that weekend that came up. I got myself on a teaching English as a foreign language course. I thought if I'm going to get out of it, that's what I'm going to do. And don't get me wrong. I love my job, but I just need that. I was destined for more. So I went on that course. And I met a guy and he said, where are you going to go? What are you going to teach? Where why? And I was like, I dunno, I have no idea. He said, have you heard of South Korea? I said, yeah. I I've heard of it. I've got no idea about, he said, I'm going to go there. Do you want to go there? I was like, okay. So literally within three months I quit everything. And I was in South Korea, teaching English, which is mine, but it was just the right time sometimes. The stars align. And I just need that. It was time to make a move and free teaching all that English. I did that for five years and it was an amazing experience, but obviously with that came travel and I started to document my travels and just talk about it openly. And honestly, and I realized, Hey, Whoa, people were really enjoying these stories. I could make this into a business and that's how it came about. That's how I became a full-time travel blogger. So it was just a natural progression, but I'm pretty magical and magical one. Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. That's so interesting. Meeting someone that's doing something that you want to do. And before you were working super hard, never took your foot off the pedal. And, actually having a chance to look around and seeing what other people are doing, getting inspired by someone else's story and giving yourself the belief that it's possible because someone else's D you're speaking to them on that train Suddenly possibilities are real, and you can actually go after that. There's an actual structure behind it. Like I take this course and then there's, I can go into teaching there. And then you met someone who then opened more possibilities by saying, Hey, I'm going here. Do you want to come as well? So what was that? Any. Fear in these decisions. So fear from the sense of first of all, moving from your psychology career to teaching English. And then secondly, you've done a lot of, blogging by that point, after a few years, and then you realized, Oh, I can make this a business. Like, where was the fear there and how did you deal with it?
Alice Nettleingham:Have to say interestingly, there was no fear. Definitely when I changed from a travel blogger to what I'm doing now, purely working with hypnosis with content creators, that was a big struggle. But up until that point, it just felt so natural to do that. I know that sounds surprising. But I think I was just so Gusto about it. I just knew that I could make it work. I just knew that it was going to happen and it felt so natural just to move from that set to the other, because this is the thing, we're career change. Sometimes we can feel that we're literally to end from scratch, but we are not, we are always building upon our past story. And for me, yes, for me to go for the national health service T teaching your staff was pretty radical, but it felt so right. I did have a last minute blip before I did get on the plane to South Korea. I was with my boyfriend at the time, loved him very much, an amazing person. And I had this last minute blip, I said to him cause I was trying to convince him with the monthly nut to, very mind, you only had three months to try and convince him to go with me. And he said, I'm not going to go. I'm not going to go. And I had this last minute blip of, okay, I'm just going to stay. And he just stopped. He said, Alice. He said if I say yes to this right now, he said in one year you're going to be turned around to me. You're still going to be here and you're going to hate me. He said, you can hate me. You ha you have to leave right now. And he was right. I called him a couple of years later. I said, you're you were right. I said, thank you so much for saying no, because my life has completely changed now. And I wouldn't be happy if I was still there. It's the truth. Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:You're always building on your experience and what you know about yourself, your self-awareness your passions, your interests, your skills, your strengths. And you also talked about identity as well. Like shifting identities when you chose the identity of, I am going to be a travel blogger how did you shift into that identity and. What did you know that you were building on to actually shift into that new direction, that new career? Cause a lot of people would say, even if you're even, if what writing blogs, that's for a lot of people, a lot of people are writing blogs, but they're not, committing to make that a, an identity of I'm a travel blogger and I'm going to make it a business. Like, how did you how did you get that confidence to know that you're not starting from scratch and that's actually what you're going to do?
Alice Nettleingham:It was yesterday confirmation. When I started my travel blog, I never had an intention of making it into a business. It was purely a therapeutic process where I had all of these stories and I just wanted to get them out there. I just wanted to not only soothe myself, but inspire others as well. And it was quite a sweet. But back then for blogging, I started blogging in 2015 and wow. What an industry, it changes all the time. And back then SEO, search engine optimization where you're trying to get on page one, a giggle. It, yes, it was around, but it wasn't really, you could easily, I would say, have quite a successful blog without having to worry about all these different intricacies when it comes to Google. So I think it got to the point where I realized, Oh, wait a minute. It's not just my mom or my friends, reason. This actually it's thousands. And the comment section people commenting and commenting comments. And I was like, people like this, people want to learn from this. People are inspired by this, that's it, it just became more and more apparent that this was going in a direction, which would be really fruitful. And I decided, yeah, I decided to do it again. And I've been teaching for quite a while. At that point, I'd saved up quite a lot of money. So I was like, I'm just gonna, I'm just gonna dive in because I know I have that financial security let's see what happens. And at that time where I really made a decision, there was a conference happening in Thailand, which was for bloggers all about blogging. So it was the perfect time for me to cut the tie in China. And head over to Thailand to start this new adventure.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:That's interesting that you have this approach of you decide what you're going to do. You get excited about it, and then you really commit, like you go all in as you said even when you left, your psychology career and then go into from teaching into blogging. There was like a, an element of confidence, faith but then going all in, and that seemed to, that seems to work multiple times. What is it about. Going all in. Do you think that is important for shifting your identity and actually making things work versus, gradually transitioning and doing a little bit of this work and a little bit of that work and then hopefully, you can get into it full time, that kind of thing. There, there are different routes around this, but you've taken that approach. W what's significant about that and why do you think it's worked so well for you?
Alice Nettleingham:That is such a good question, because I do believe that one size does not fit all, when it comes to the work that I'm doing now, I always say to my clients that. Your success always depends on your mindset. Your success depends on the ways that you say to yourself and the pictures that you put in your mind. When I was making those decisions, I was a hundred percent confident that I was going to make it work. And I have always been a little bit of that do or die kind of girl, and that's come across in my travels as well. I would just get on motorbikes and just. Drive around countries for free months. And I would honestly, sometimes I would come across crossroads and I was like this route is really easy. This one looks a little bit challenging. I'll take that one because in my twenties, I really wanted to push myself. I really wanted to see what I was capable of. I wanted to know who I was. I want to know what I could do. So it was almost a little bit of a dare, can you make it work? Can you really make it work? So I would purposely dive all in to see if I could do that. Now. I understand that not everybody is in that position. I'm not married. I don't have children. I don't have a mortgage. So I could more easily just go ahead and do that. Nothing was holding me back, but I understand for some people, if you do want to try a new career, you want to do site near, you might want to get your ducks in the road a little bit before you do that. But yes, again, I do want to stress that, time and time again, some of the clients I see. They'd been putting their ducks in a row for years and they have never moved. And theirs is going to become a point where the, the straw that breaks the camel's back and you're going to have to make a move away as you are going to be stuck. And in five years time, if I had not listened to my boyfriend at that time, I would still be in England, probably working for the NHS. There's gotta be a point where you, don't what you dive in there really
Matt Garrow-Fisher:is. Yeah, it was, I was actually going to ask about like the support that you had in each of your transitions. And if you had that support, whether it's a, a mentor or a coach or a boyfriend at the time, friends did you have that in each of your transitions and how. But how can people manage w without support, if is it possible?
Alice Nettleingham:It is absolutely possible. When I quit my job at the NHS, my dad used the D word. He said, I'm disappointed in you. That was a tough word to hear, the D word. Ooh, it's a hard one. And yeah, you said I'm disappointed in you. My parents had come from a working class background. They come from that generation where you have one job. And you stick to it, whatever, because you need stability. Obviously the world has changed rapidly, in the last five to 10 years, but he used the D word and I was like, Oh man, but this is the truth. You can listen to all of these words and it is usually family and friends that will stop you the most because they love you and they care about you and they don't want you to be upset or get in trouble. But this is the truth. The most important ways that you're ever going to hear are the words that you say to yourself. If you keep trying to get confirmation from other people, if you keep listening to other people's opinions, then that's going to affect your journey. Sometimes of course, we all need mentors. We all need people. We need to look up to that's what drives us forward. But at the end of the day, you have to be in the driving seat and you have to listen to your own gut and intuition to me forward.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Let's talk a little bit about, a lot, maybe about hypnosis now. And. You've been running your travel blogging business for a while. Something attracted you to hypnosis. And in particular you were trained by like a real top trainer Marisa Peer What attracted you to do that? And like how have you decided the niche you're in now, like in terms of what problems you're solving for people using that method of hypnotherapy.
Alice Nettleingham:There was two very clear, distinct reasons. So as a therapist myself, back in the NHS, we were always working with cognitive behavioral therapy and don't get me wrong. It's a brilliant technique. It really is. I've seen people's lives changed by it, if you came to see me, you be referred to me by your doctor and you would see me for around six to eight sessions. And the thing we concept behavioral therapy is that it works from a conscious stance. You're always working with the conscious and the thing, but the conch consciousness that we have right here is that it has filters. It has blocks. And I was getting frustrated as a therapist because I knew that I was not getting to the root problem. I knew that I was not getting to the absolute, most significant cause of these people's difficulties. And I just thought there's more, I know there's more so when I discovered hypnosis, which works with the subconscious mind, that part of us, which is that big black warehouse, that stores all of our thoughts, all of our beliefs, all of our programming. If you get in there, wow. You can change things around so quickly because you are getting to the source. So that's exactly why I decided to do hypnosis. And it was yes. Again, a natural progression because working in the travel blogging industry, working in the content creation industry. This is a very interesting entrepreneurial profession. You are constantly putting yourself out there in front of people. You are sharing your thoughts. You are being constantly creative. You are trying to pitch to brands. And when it comes to pitching and being on social media, you can be open to a lot of rejection, a lot of trolls, a lot of comments. And I was finding a lot of people in my industry, they were not charging their worth. They were. Worried about expressing what they really fought about things. Hey, we've seen it time and time again, right? People on Instagram, Facebook trying to project a certain image or identity and that not aligning with how they feel inside at all. know, They may project the utmost confidence and assuredness and rainbow unicorn, but inside they're feeling completely different. And I thought hang on a minute. All of my friends around me, they're feeling like this and me too. I didn't actually realize it at the time. My brand was very kick-ass, very like you can do anything you wanted, but I quickly realized, Hey, Whoa, wait a minute. It's actually some blocks that I really have. I was not pitching to brands as much as I want it because I thought they would say, no, I was not charging as much money as other people because I didn't want to lose the work. And also, I just felt that there were not a lot of things available to me. Hey, it goes right back to my dad. You can't make money doing what you love. I feel artists blogging. It's just a hobby really is a business, but it's just a hobby. I can't possibly make money doing that. So there were, I realize it, I had to work on myself, but also there was a big gap in this market, that. There was not particularly any therapist or hypnosis going on for these particular kinds of people. All these creators bloggers influences. Yeah, there's a lot going on and not enough help in that sense.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. And for both of us we've gone through hypnosis ourselves and got results from it for those people who might not have had the experience of hypnosis and accessing the subconscious. What are some of the ways they can start to experience that and is it for everyone? Does it work on every single person or a, some people more susceptible to it? Cause I think a lot of people be if they haven't gone through it they probably will have that question on their mind.
Alice Nettleingham:Yeah. When you look at the movies and the films and you see hypnosis, I was actually watching the horror movie, get out a couple of weeks ago and my God, they have all this hypnosis in there and it's terrifying, right? You've got this lady like clinking, a cup with a spoon and making you feel paralyzed, and God
Matt Garrow-Fisher:knows.
Alice Nettleingham:I was like, this is not doing any good for my business right now, but to be honest, hypnosis is such a natural state. When I do hypnosis of my clients, I'm essentially making you go into rapid eye movement. That's all it is. You are going into another state, which is natural in which you do every day. Anyway, you do it before, when you are in your sleep. But you're not asleep. You're in hypnosis. Just want to make that clear, but you're also doing it throughout the day. If you, are reading a book and you get so engrossed in it, you switch off, a certain part of you and you just get so stuck into it. And then maybe someone calls your name. You might not hear them at first because you're just so focused on that. That's hypnosis And when you're driving your car and you're listening to the radio or you're chatting to a friend who's next year, you're just driving the car on auto pilot and before it. You're home and that's just a subconscious taking over. You don't think about how to change the gear stick and you just do it. And that is what hypnosis is. It's just happening to the subconscious minds. And ask a couple of questions to really understand why you are thinking certain things, why you are doing certain things and the revelations that come out of that of always fascinating. I had a client just last week. He just said to me, I just can't be happy. I just don't understand it. I just can't be happy. I want to do all these things, but I just can't let myself be happy. It was fascinating. What came out of that, the different things that he had experienced in his life, it suddenly became incredibly clear to him why he had that belief that he couldn't be happy. And it's amazing to see the transformation. He messaged me just 24 hours later. He said, my life has completely changed. Now. I understand exactly what happened and why. And now I know that I have all the power and control because you do understand in his power.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. One word that strikes me about your background, even before you, now with a trained hypnotist is stories, you're a content writer or a blogger. You've been listening to people's stories as a psychological well-being practitioner in the NHS creating stories, like writing your own life story in the travel blogging you're doing. And now helping people interpret and change the narrative in the stories of their own lives with their unconscious to change their behavior. To what extent do you think. Your background in content creation has helped you become a great hypnotist.
Alice Nettleingham:I love that question. And this is the thing, like every time that is a travel blogging or whether it's hypnosis, I feel that I've gotten to go to art school. Because travel, blogging and hypnosis is a very creative thing. When we do a session together, it's two hours and we've delved into all these stories that we have in our minds. But the last part of that session is telling a story. I give my clients and kind of hypnosis track to listen to you for 21 days. And I weave everything that they have said, everything they want to. Everything. They want to think. I just do that on the fly at the end. And it's like a 20 minute hypnotic recording, completely tailored to you. And that's art. That is art. You have to be a very expressive and imaginative person to do the work. And that is storytelling itself. You're telling yourself a new story. I just love it actually, that you've connected that for me, no one has ever said that to me before and now I'm like, Oh yeah, that makes sense.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:The connectedness of stories I think is in everyone. It really isn't, it's just it's, I'm trained in NLP and I totally I'm with you in terms of accessing the unconscious, it really makes quite a big difference to changing your behavior. And a lot of it is. Down to the self narrative that we have within ourselves. And what we tell ourselves in the morning even in the morning, getting out, out yeah. Bed and getting up at a certain time. If we're telling ourselves, Oh, no, I want to stay in. I don't really, I don't really have anything to get up for today. It's really cold. That's a story in your head and to be able to, first of all, take time and become aware of. What you're saying unconsciously by talking to someone by journaling just by being weigh yourself, by being present by doing things like meditation, I found has it really can start unpacking areas where you can change things, and I guess it's it's There's something wrong with your car? If you've suddenly become consciously aware of where the faults are, you can start to know where to make changes. And some super mechanics that have hypnosis as a tool can make some pretty rapid changes. In terms of clients, is that you've had and just exposure to. People that are not sure what to do with their lives. A lot of people come to you for clarity issues. I don't know what to do. A lot of it comes down to actually getting clear about what they want. How do you help people to become clear of. What they want,
Alice Nettleingham:yeah. When I down just an artist would have many paint, brushes and paints. And when I sit down, I know my mind that I have a variety of tools I can use in the hypnosis session. So I do pick and choose what is best. But, if you are right now really wondering what to do with your life, if you're wondering what your life purpose here. First of all, I want to say to you that you are here for a reason, People, if you're saying to yourself, Oh, I don't have any skills. I don't have any passion. I, I didn't know what to do. You are here for a reason, the universe put you here for a reason. So that's that. But secondly, if you are thinking for your life purpose, what IDG. So I say to people what did you love doing between the ages of seven and 14? Particularly because during that time as children, yes, we all have different backgrounds, different things may have been going on, but when you wanted to relax, when you just wanted to play. What were you doing? Were you painting? Were you dancing? Were you singing? Were you writing every child or naturally do what they are gifted and brought here to do when they are between the ages of seven 14. So I take them back. I'm like, Hey, what were you doing? And they'll be like, Oh, it's doing this. And I was doing that. And that's what made me say happy. So you can find the answer that way, but I also have to say. A lot of people deep down, do you actually know what they want to do, but from different beliefs, day's not available to them or they're not good enough to do it, or they're just a different kind of person. So they possibly couldn't, have what everyone else has. Then that's when we really start to find the answer because there's a good chance. You do know. And it's always a lovely question. Just asking, listeners right now from a conscious point of view. Hey, if it w if you didn't have to worry about time or money, what would you be doing right now? And then they will tell you the real answer.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. I coached someone today and on career change and. The blockage around money not being able to earn enough or can't possibly do that. It's enough to just shut off that, that option without exploring it further, because there's just this it's an unconscious reaction is Oh no, I can't do that. And then, because it causes a pain in them and me I've had that myself. You tend to not want to explore it unless you're, you talk it through with someone or write it down and confront it, which is quite a scary thing to do. A lot of the time. For me, like I got into hypnosis because I knew someone else that had done hypnosis for certain issues. And I was like, and I'd seen the results. And I was like, okay, How has that person changed so much? There's, it's crazy. Like I'm with her now and she's so different, like what's going on. So that was the kind of curiosity that kind of led me to go. I want your hypnotist. And then. I've just explored it more and more over the years. And I think, again, it's stories, it's Oh, I don't know anything about hypnosis. Therefore I don't think, I dunno if it could work for me, but when you know someone that's gone through it, or you hear a story. That you relate to then suddenly it all becomes possible just like it was when you were on the train with someone who, and speaking about teaching English abroad. And it was relatable because they were a psychology student as well. And it's all about the stories. And so I guess, talking of stories, is there a way of. Changing someone's narrative and story And are there any other ways for you to start changing your beliefs about something when you've been so resistant to it before? For example, career change?
Alice Nettleingham:I would go right back to that sentence. I said earlier, it is all about the words and it is all about the images. If you want to start changing your life right now, you do need to start talking to yourself in a different way. You do need to start imagining what's going to happen in a different way. That is the key to change because your mind is like a fairy godmother. It's very loyal to you. It will listen to absolutely everything that you say to it. So be careful what you wish for, if you keep saying certain things to it Oh, I'm never going to be able to achieve this. I can't do this. I can't do this. Your mind is gonna be like, okay, no problem. We won't make it work. Then, you have to really be kind to that fairy godmother within you and tell it what you want. Be very crystal clear. And then things will change.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Let's talk about belief as well, because you are someone that has a natural confidence and natural self-belief. Of course that you've been challenged in your life and in various transitions you've had at times, but for someone that doesn't necessarily believe in themselves and. Might not think that they can change career or just do something slightly different pivots, something in their existing job, for example How can they start to cultivate that sense of self-belief and related to what you've just said around, creating a vision and a picture for your, for their future? Like how do they do that as well? Cause, if they don't do things like that they may. Continue doing what they're doing and be miserable for very long time. So what kind of steps can they start to, to take for changing self-belief and also changing that their vision for the future?
Alice Nettleingham:I want to say two things to that. Number one is that everyone is born with the most phenomenal confidence. Now, when you were a baby, you came out kicking and screaming. You weren't quiet. You did not look in people's eyes. When you're a baby, you are looking at everything. Staring at people like this you're touching everything. You don't care what people, people are thinking, they'll say it about you just do you. And that's exactly what toddlers do too. They scream, they shout, they don't care what other people are thinking or et cetera. So you do have that confidence. Everyone's born with it just over the years. It can start to get dumped and down a little bit. And I guess to answer the second part to this, what actually comes to mind is a guy that I'm dating now, he's Syrian. K. He has just gone through 10 years of war. Okay. He he's seen people die. He's lost friends. And he said to me, he, he says it to me. He says, I told myself I was never going to die. I told myself every time that I stepped out the door, that I was going to survive and that I am destined for more. And he truly is an inspirational person. His mindset is so powerful. He threw through the most extreme things that he has been free. He's still. Did this narrative, every time he stepped up, stepped out the door, I ain't going to get from point a to paint point, be completely Safie. I am going to like further myself, he told me this story that, they were shooting his neighborhood he's from homes. Okay. He was literally right in the middle of the action. He had to Dodge all of these snipers to get to school, to take an exam. And he just said to himself, I need to pass this exam. I'm just going to, I'm going to go and do this exam. I'm going to pass it and I'm going to, I'm going to get better. That is mindset. It's most phenomenal.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Wow. I mean is incredible.
Alice Nettleingham:Yes. And that hit for me. He really is the the kind of poster child for mindset, because if you're an extreme circumstances like that, There is always a way there is always a way. You just keep saying to yourself, I'm not going to give up, I'm going to do this. I'm going to, I can get that, that's how you do it. That's how you do it. Yeah.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:And again, coming back to stories, like just listening to that I was totally captivated by his story and just hearing it, it's given me a sense of. What am I complaining for? I like the worst that this happens to me in my life is probably bad traffic, on the way to, on the way to school like versus dodging sniper rifles and sniper, but it's goodness me. So it's a case of when I think about stories, for me, it's surrounding myself with stories that are gonna help me that are gonna motivate me. They're gonna inspire me. And I do that through books. I do that for you. I do that through interviews like this, I do that through talking to people as I travel is, do you find that. Listening to other people's stories and reading about the people's stories is, has actually shaped your own self-belief and confidence and ability to, to do what you want to do.
Alice Nettleingham:Yes, very much. And this just goes back to the donut time, doesn't it? What were we doing years and years ago, we were sitting around campfires sharing stories. That's how we learn, what do we do when we're bringing our children up? We tell them fairytales and fables because. This is how we remember. This is how we learn. You always are going to remember his story way over, a scientific fact in a textbook or something, because the beauty of stories is that it has everything in there. It has the words, it has the emotions. It has, always his story from. From a strong, struggling person to someone who succeeds and as humans, we just love that. We love this idea of being in a hot water in a moment of panic, and then get an out of that. It's just a natural human tendency to want to hear those stories. Yes, It's the same. When I was working in the NHS, I felt that I was traveling all around the world and I hadn't even left the UK at that time. How, because I had, and the stories and I grew phenomenally during that time. Because I was hearing stories from 50 year old, six year old women. And I was still very young. I was fresh faced out of university and I learned so much about life from other people. It truly was a blessing. I'm so grateful for all of my clients and I, even to this day, I'm learning all the time. I'm learning all the time from other people, connections and stories. Are just so key
Matt Garrow-Fisher:talking about some of the clients that you've worked with, what have been some like real memorable stories in terms of the progress that they've made and transformations they've had with that without mentioning any names, but can you talk me through. Some of the journey some of your clients have had with your help and with in particular, the hypnosis you've been given.
Alice Nettleingham:One particular lady comes to mind. She is a Chinese British, so she came to the country with very little money. No, dad was always like working in the takeaway. Very difficult times, she trying to integrate with British society, not a lot of money. And they just, it really got her to the point where she wasn't quite, how could I say, because obviously we're not just black and white, but so confident, also a creator, so confident, but equally, a lot of shame and guilt and walking on eggshells around people. Cause she was unsure because of the backgrounds, how she really could be. And she is just growing phenomenally. Now she's now presenting on the BBC, like she's doing documentary, he's talking about Chinese British yeah. People. And especially right now, we're recording this still in the time of Corona. There's been a lot of hate crime towards Asians. And she now has the courage to really talk about that. When she came to me, she said, I really want to talk about things. I really want to get it out there, but I don't know how it's going to be received. She's doing phenomenally well now. And the fact that she's presenting that on the BBC, so proud of it.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:So what elements made that transformation, do you think if you look back, was it breaking through. Like her self-belief and the story she told herself around that. What was it that do you think, looking back that gave that transformation.
Alice Nettleingham:Part of the therapy when we work together is that I always ask your mind to show me the most significant scene for you having certain beliefs about yourself and the scenes that came to her mind were very significant, but. The stories that she was telling herself about those scenes Rudy was affecting her behavior and presence today. And it's about taking a step back from that because when we're children, we see things in such black and white, when we're children, we automatically think that it's, something's not going right. Maybe it's us. We don't have this understanding that adults do. So we really just took a step back and was like, actually, that's not your fault. That isn't your shame, that isn't your guilt. And it's just really about. Looking at it realistically, we're not, we're not being unrealistic. It's just the truth about what actually happened. It wasn't her fault. So it really is about retelling yourself, that story from a different perspective and from a very loving kind and understanding perspective, because sometimes as children, we just call them process everything. We see things in a different way.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. I had that with, when I did my session with you. I had a change in narrative. I was D I have a portfolio career. I've quite a few different projects going on at once. And I just got this clarity of it's. Okay. Just to not do too many things and actually start doing less things. I was doing things just to feel busier almost, and And it really helped me to reprioritize and actually say no to things. And but like you said, I was I had this narrative that I had to be doing that because it may be, I dunno, it where it was from just from, society saying that, or, I had to been busy. But I was being, I, at the time I was being busy on not the most important things being busy, and. But it you're totally right. It was like the narrative that was saying to myself. And once I it's you can confront it. W when I was talking with you, it came to the surface, it came, became conscious, and then I confronted it. And you as a coach and a therapist you helped me confront it in a way where I it, I was like, okay, what am I doing? Why am I doing this? And it's FA I find it very. I'm trained in NLP and hypnotic language patterns to some extent not as much as you of course, but It's very difficult to do that by yourself. To, yeah.
Alice Nettleingham:So from a conscious level, it's so hard to do that journaling right now. If you're doing affirmations in the morning. Oh, it's hard because you're trying to change yourself from the outside in, not the inside out. It's a lot harder trying to do it this way, rather than do it from the inside out. It's easier from the subconscious point of level.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. Yeah, I know. I find you, don't let yourself go and just be free with thoughts. If you're trying to think consciously about what your patterns are and what you're doing and what your narrative is, but to bounce that and have be guided around that. I find this is very powerful and that, that helps Mike that helps my clients even just from a talking perspective. Not even hypnosis perspective. What would you say is your purpose now, Alice in life for having gone through so many different stories and careers what would you say, is there something that when you look back, you can link everything together in one way or has your purpose changed and you're conscious of it now, or you're not sure.
Alice Nettleingham:I love that question. So years ago when I was in India, I went to see good old little guru. And he was like, Oh, in a past life he said, you're from the middle East, it's in a past life, you were a dancer. And People came to you for healing like you did this dancing and it was a very therapeutic healing practice. And that's what you did. You made people feel better. And I was like, Oh, Hey, Whoa surprise. Because I do believe that is my purpose in life. All the jobs that I've done, whether it was working in the NHS or teaching English or travel blogging. I was always trying to share my experience and wisdom to make people go further in life. And I feel that where I am now, It's a lovely combination of all of that. I've combined my content creation experience and all of my psychology skills and practices together to get me to this point. And I do that is what makes me tick. I love to see people transform and, Hey ho with all the patterns that have happened so far, he knows what the future holds, but I know it's going to be linked to people and transformation a hundred percent.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Yeah. Yeah, for sure. And I was speaking to someone today actually about The technology is changing a lot of things but the kind of human connection and being aware of your emotions, your story to be able to transform and having connections with other people. That's never going to go away, whatever happens with technology it's absolutely essential. It's likely to be more in demand than ever before. As technology progresses, I'm talking of technology outlets, where can people find you and reach out to you, connect with you and learn more about what you have to offer. And then also, maybe even a session with you.
Alice Nettleingham:Yeah, sure. So you can reach me. I'd say the best places on Facebook and Instagram. If you want to connect with me on Facebook, just say hello to me on my personal page is Alice nataline, ham, Alice dot mashing them. You will find me there on Facebook. And if you want to speak to me on Instagram, my handle is speak to Alice. So grab me on either of those. Say a little hello. And if you want to talk about things further, my pleasure just pop me a DM and we can talk about things forever from that.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Awesome. And I'll put all of those links in this episode show notes. Of course, Alice my final question I. See you as someone that is burning from within. And by that, I define that as someone that's living with a sense of passion for what they do and purpose, which you just explained and have a balance in life to spend time on different areas relationships, and, fun adventure travel, which is what exactly what you're doing. What do you think is the one thing that's made the biggest difference to burn from within.
Alice Nettleingham:This question. What's the biggest difference to burn from within, it's probably a cheesy one and maybe people have said this to you before. But there is no better inner compass or guidance on what you should be doing then your own intuition. I've always. Whatever people have said, whatever expectations have been set upon me is to always listen to my intuition. And that for me is the key to burn from within, because what's best for you, what you were born to do, and you just got to listen to it and you've got to do it. That is how you do it.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Alice, it's been an absolute pleasure to speak with you today. And just from a personal perspective really great to know you as a friend and fantastic to have had a transformational experience with you and all of the amazing follow-up after our therapy and I can't highly, I can't recommend you highly enough. I've gone through. Sarah like the top trainers in NLP. And I've had like real amazing hypnotists and Europe, they were the best in terms of how you guide people. How, like calming and soothing your voices, but one thing and just I think your creativity shines in your sessions when you. you help people to, to put their stories, uh, in a, in a sense light it's it's it shows an immense level of creativity. Um, so I, you know, totally recommend people to do it, experience it. I mean, it's to experience it can really kind of change your story and, and. You know, I, I, uh, I wish you more and more success. Thank you so much, Alice.
Alice Nettleingham:Thank you, Matt. Thank you. I appreciate it deeply. Thank you so much.
Matt Garrow-Fisher:Alice is so awesome. If you haven't tried hypnosis, Alice is currently offering taster sessions. So you experience it yourself. Super affordably. Just connect with her directly on Instagram at speak to Alice. And the link for your taster session is in the bio right now. Also check out. Alice is awesome. Travel blog, tea cake travels.com. That's teacake travels.com for fascinating insight into her adventures around the world. And if you enjoyed this episode, go right ahead and leave a review for this podcast. By going to rate this podcast.com. Falstaff burned from within that's rate. This podcast.com forward slash burn from it. Then stay updated with more inspiring interviews by hitting the subscribe button or follow button now on your payer for this podcast. And until next time live with passion, purpose, and balance and burn from within